Tuesday, June 16, 2009

How I'm Feeling - Week 9

Note: This post was written last week. As of today, I am 10 1/2 weeks, and things are not nearly as gray.

A lot of people are asking how I'm feeling. I don't really know how to answer. My days seem to have a gray haze over them, like I'm living in a fog. It's vey surreal...knowing this awful thing is going to happen that has not yet happened. How do you describe to someone that you're waiting for tragedy?

But in general - besides how strange just WAITING for the miscarriage is - I feel much better than the first time this happened four years ago. (Was it really that long ago?) Maybe because I've been through this before, and know how it feels to come out the other side. Maybe because I have two beautiful children for whom I am already so thankful.

Oh my, Jacob. What is that smell coming from your diaper?

Maybe because I have so much less time to focus on myself...