I have been on 24-hour seizure patrol since Wednesday morning. Lily is still running a fever and has other flu-like symptoms, but at her follow-up visit yesterday, her pediatrician said he really thinks it's just a virus that needs time to pass, and if her fever still has not broken by Saturday, they want to see her again. (It started Monday night - such a long time for such a little girl to be SO HOT unless constantly medicated...and you know we're not fans of constantly medicating. But I guess the alternative is fear of another seizure should her fever spike or stay too high, so we'll take the lesser of two evils.)
I have not really slept much. The night of her seizure, I slept in her room. And SLEPT is entirely inaccurate since I mostly just laid there examining every little sound and movement and change in breathing she made. Yesterday morning around 8 a.m., I was really paranoid it was going to happen again. I made sure the pattern of the morning was completely different than the day before, and it wasn't until my neighbor arrived to watch Jacob while I took Lily to the pediatrician that I felt myself calm down again (though I made her talk to me the whole car ride there since I couldn't see her). Every time I left the room for a few minutes or fixed lunch or went to the bathroom (31 weeks pregnant, remember), I would call, "Hey, Lil' - how you doin'?" and any kind of sound from her would count as a positive response.
It wasn't until yesterday evening when Ryan got home that I started to relax a bit - to realize that it had been a few minutes since I had looked at her and she was still fine - and last night, I slept in our room with her monitor turned on super loud. (SO wishing we had that video monitor on our baby registry right about now!) I would have actually had a decent night's sleep if she hadn't woken up so many times. So now my eyes are burning and my brain is tired and I'm physically and emotionally spent. I can't wait until her fever breaks so I can really turn off my brain and take a super long nap. And maybe do some grocery shopping. It would be really nice to have some milk and bread and ice cream...you know, the essentials.
(I totally ate everything in site after we got home from the ER...turns out I'm a comfort food eater.)
Right now, she's sitting on the couch with Jacob watching Blues Clues, and the baby in my belly is doing somersaults. I need to take Lily's temperature and give her some medicine. She's generally lethargic and mopey until the medicine kicks in. Then maybe I'll see if I can sneak in a nap while they stare at the TV for a little longer.