It's been one of those mornings. The kind of morning where you actually think about pulling the car over and getting out...anything to make that awful noise in the backseat just go away. I KNOW you're tired. I KNOW you wanted another donut. I KNOW you're upset that I took away the orange juice you stole from that other little girl. I KNOW you didn't want to leave all your friends.
But you're not the once who gets to call all the shots. You're not the one who can't take the screaming anymore and knows that putting you in your crib with your bottle and your pacifier and your blanket for a good long nap are the only way I am going to regain my sanity and not completely lose my cool with you. Because Mamas need a recharge once in a while, too, especially after temper tantrums that seem to last ALL DAY. I could see it in your eyes this morning when you woke up that you were just going to have one of those days. And today is not one of those days when I will be able to handle it with exemplary patience and compassion.
Today? Today I am going to lose it from you losing it. So please get it together - or at least pretend and hold it together until your Dad gets home and there is another adult here to vent to so I don't take it all out on you. I'm sorry I didn't kiss you or tell you how much I loved you before putting you in your crib. I'm sorry I yelled at you in the car at the top of my lungs - trying to be louder than your screaming, maybe to scare you into submission. Mama hates feeling like this, because she is even-natured and not normally a screamer and you were not raised to act this way and oh my goodness we have not even hit age 2 yet. Just because this behavior may be "normal" doesn't mean I have to like it. That doesn't make it OK or easy to ignore.
And I have no idea how your brother slept through all the wailing the whole way home, and is still asleep in his car seat downstairs. I guess one for two ain't bad.
*Addendum*
Jacob woke up shortly after I finished writing this. I went downstairs and took my smiley, hungry boy out of his car seat to find that he was covered with poop. Yellow, runny, doesn't-eat-solids-yet poop. He thought it was fun and squishy. I guess this is how Jacob contributes to my day...
8 comments :
what a great shot of lily crying! We have lots of those with Colin. And as my neighbor said a few weeks ago "so your the lucky one and get to stay home all day huh?" little do they know. it seems when Colin has one of those days Brent always has to work late.
Oh, I am so there with you! Granted, take away the poopy little one and substitute one doing gymnastics waiting to get out and throw is a dash of pregnancy hormones! Andrew has had some of those days lately too. I hate what I turn into, but I just find myself screaming at him sometimes because he is so absorbed with his crankiness that I cannot reason with him. Major love and hugs!
OH my gosh, I HEAR you. I could have SO written that post. Except for the part about Jacob. ;) Hang in there!
Oh, I feel you! We have had many of those days. And I am sure many more to come!
Sometimes in the car, I will turn up my music louder than the screaming. Then I start singing really loud. I can't deal with the screaming either.
You posted this a while ago- are you still alive? Sending you a hug!
I love the way you described one of THOSE days!
Oh yeah, I've been there too. Great description!
oh, I totally relate to those days...so frustrating. Very accurate picture of the "oh you don't work?" life!
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