Tuesday, March 25, 2008

How I'm Feeling - Week 33

Let me start with my 30-week appt, which I forgot to mention back before vacation. I saw Allison and I was all set to ask her if I was still posterior, but when she measured my belly and said, "You're measuring a little big..." that posterior question flew right out the window. I'm measuring big? Me or the baby? "The baby. 32 weeks or maybe 31." 31 wouldn't be too bad, since that was technically two days away. But the thought of another big baby - or a BIGGER baby - got my head a-waggin'!

I had gained 2 pounds and was up to 159. Not bad. The baby's heartbeat was great and I don't remember her taking my blood pressure. Hmm.

My 33-week appt with Tina yesterday was much more reassuring (for some reason, they scheduled me for 33 instead of 32 weeks...oh well). She said my belly size was just right - measuring exactly 33 weeks. MUCH better. I asked her if I was still posterior and she looked at me like I was crazy. I told her I was at 28 weeks and just wanted to double check, and she said the baby is sideways, head down, butt on my left and legs on my right, just as it should be for now. Very glad to hear that.

She said, "Well, don't start worrying about being posterior. If you were able to deliver an OP [occiput posterior] baby last time, you won't have any trouble this time no matter how this baby comes out!"

That led me to recall my looooong labor and delivery with Allison for her. She said she was surprised I didn't have myself a heavy bout of post-partum depression following the birth. She said no sleep begets depression, and depression begets no sleep...hence the vicious cycle. So while I know I did not have PPD, maybe that was a little part of the problem I had building an attachment to Lily, the attachment that did not spontaneously appear like magic immediately following her birth, but that grew in the months to come.

I gained another 2 pounds. Not bad for 2.5 weeks. So now I'm at 161 for a total weight gain thus far of 21 pounds, which is - ironically - a couple pounds UNDER what my "Your Pregnancy: Week by Week" book says is normal. I'll take it. Whatever keeps me farther away from 40!

Physically, I'm still feeling great, don't have the constant pain in my left ribs like last time - VERY grateful for that - and every week that passes without a sign of PUPPPS sees much rejoicing. I told Ryan last night, "Know what? Sometime within the next 9 weeks, we're going to have a baby!" Crazy that it seems so close all of a sudden. Are we ready? Completely not! Were we last time? Not at all! And we made it somehow.

This is really starting to get exciting now. Not that it wasn't before, but it's becoming less "excitement about something far away that will happen sometime" and more "excitement about what's going to happen soon!" and I can't wait to snuggle my new little baby in my arms and rest her/his warm head against mine. I think my immediate reaction to this baby will be much different than last time. This time, I know how it feels to be a love a use that part of my heart that I had to discover over the first few months last time. At least that's what I keep telling myself ;)