I'm 19 1/2 weeks pregnant now. It's amazing that in a few days, I will be halfway done with this pregnancy. It's also amazing how radically different this pregnancy is than the last one. Not physically, as that's pretty much been the same (no morning sickness, no weird cravings, tired in the first trimester), but mentally. Last time, I read the next chapter of, "Your Pregnancy: Week by Week" faithfully every Tuesday night.
This time...? Where is that book again??
Last time, I was on BabyCenter.com constantly, finding out what was happening inside me, how the baby was developing, what I was and wasn't allowed to eat, what I definitely should be eating, etc. This time? I stuff my face with whatever I feel like and never remember to force myself to eat my vegetables. Last time, I was a nut about noticing every little change in my body. This time? Should that be there? I'd rather not look, thank you very much.
Last time, all I was was Pregnant. Like after you get engaged and the world revolves around you and your head is in a cloud and all you are in life is someone's soon-to-be wife. Pregnancy defined me. This time, I'm Lily's Mama and housewife and What's for dinner? and Christmas is WHEN?? and Oh yeah, I'm pregnant. It's amazing how different it is! Sometimes, I'll walk by a mirror and do a double take because I've forgotten there's this belly there and I haven't looked at it in a while and my goodness, it's gotten bigger!
Last time, I refused to look at maternity clothes or at Babies'R'Us goodies until well after I should have...convinced doing so would somehow jinx the pregnancy. This time, I wore maternity clothes in the first trimester because - forget looking trendy - I just want to be comfortable! And I started a new Babies'R'Us registry right away because there was cool stuff in the free gift box for Lily. Hehe.
Our big level-2 ultrasound is this Friday - as in, two days from now. It still doesn't seem real. Although, when I remember to think about it, I have the same emotional response as last time: 1/2 excited and 1/2 nervous. Excited to see our new little stinker mugging for the camera and squirming around in there; nervous because if there is something majorly wrong with the baby, this will affect our family for the rest of our lives. So we're just praying everything will go fine, and that, if it doesn't, God will give us the strength and courage to accept whatever He throws our way.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Lily's 1st Birthday
Today, our little Lily turns 1. Right about now, actually. This time last year, the doctors were placing her on my chest, cleaning her off, cutting the cord. I was staring in awe at this little tiny person who just came out of me and was suddenly all mine. "Hello, baby, do I know you?" "Surreal" can not even begin to describe how that moment feels. Especially after going through 31.5 hours of labor together.
She's napping at the moment. Or pretending to be napping. Sometimes she likes to fake us out, but, hopefully, she's getting some shut-eye, because we have lots planned today. We need to go to Borders and look at some books, she has her 12-month pediatrician appointment (hopefully, they'll tell us she's big enough to use her forward-facing car seat!), and hopefully we'll get to Costco and Toys'R'Us to compare the rocking horses and double wagons...one of which will become her birthday present, and the other might be for Christmas. If we have time, we'll head to Babies'R'Us for some desperately-needed magnetic cabinet latches. She's figured out how to remove the ones that never properly wrapped around the nobs.
After her nap, I'll change her out of her cozy pajamas and into the adorable outfit I bought her yesterday for her birthday. It's from a new store at the mall I discovered while Ryan was getting his haircut called "Crazy 8". The clothes are adorable and not super-expensive. Her long-sleeved knit dress was $12 and her matching tights were $2.50 - those are both sale prices, of course. Similar items at Gymboree or Baby Gap would have cost at least twice as much. And as a mushy, "Awwww, it's her only first birthday!" Mama, I might have been suckered into spending twice as much.
Thank goodness Ryan needed a haircut and I needed to kill some time.
So here are the words Lily knows when you say them and ask her to point to them: light (this was first and only applies to HANGING lights, like pendants and ceiling fans - she identifies "light" with the fixture, not the actual light itself), kitty (she knows they say, "Meow!" but has never attempted to say it herself), balloon (there are still a couple hanging on from before her party Friday night), juice (her sippy cup), duck or duckie (she attempts to say, "Quack!" although it sounds more like, "Gak!" - I think this might technically be her first word), Cheerios (this applies to either the container or the actual Cheerios themselves), clock (so far, she only knows the one in her bathroom).
I'm pretty sure she knows who Daddy is, but we still have to get her to point at Ryan when asked where's Daddy. "Mama" was one of her first sounds, but I still don't think she associates it with me. She says it a lot while she's eating, which is guess is OK, because she certainly ENJOYS eating and probably gets Mama from Mmmmmm, which she says a lot at mealtime.
Words we're currently teaching her to understand: bottle, Oma, pacifier, and Coke. Ryan is teaching her this one. It applies to all 2-liter plastic beverage containers. I thought he should teach her something a little more generic, like soda, since it could be Sprite or Dr. Pepper or rootbeer or whatever in the bottle, but he was insistent it should be Coke - and he doesn't have the opportunity to teach her as many words as I do - so I'm going with it. Coke it is.
She knows she's supposed to clap when we cheer, "Yaaay!" or clap ourselves. Though the other night, Ryan pointed out that she seems to think you take turns clapping, because she always starts after we stop, which is pretty funny. She also knows to wave when we say, "Hi" or "Bye" or when we're waving. Sometimes, she gets too excited and starts clapping instead. She learned both these things at the same time and probably thinks they're interchangeable. Silly girl. If you rest your ear to your shoulder, she'll do the same thing with a big grin - it's the sweetest little thing you've ever seen. And if you stick your tongue out at her, she'll stick hers out right back at you. I've found this is a handy trick for getting her to show you what she's snuck in her mouth behind your back.
She's always been very touchy about getting her face cleaned after a meal, but lately I've discovered that if I tell her what a good girl she is while wiping her down, she sits still a little better and fusses a little less. Hooray for positive reinforcement. She definately knows what "No" means. Or using that same tone of voice when we say her name. She'll stop what she was doing - or about to do - and look back at me. I'll raise my eyebrows and maybe shake my head, and that's usually enough. Sometimes, we have to do this a few times, but she listens pretty quickly. By now, she knows what is and what isn't off-limits in the house.
It's funny to watch her test me. She'll go towards something she knows she shouldn't touch, put her hand out towards it, then stop and look back at me with her eyebrows raised, as if asking, "How about now? Is it OK if I touch it this time?" I shake my head or raise my eyebrows back, and she knows and stops. It's amazing. Every day, I realize the importance of consistency with her and how well she responds to it.
Little does she know I'm figuring this all out as I go along...
She's napping at the moment. Or pretending to be napping. Sometimes she likes to fake us out, but, hopefully, she's getting some shut-eye, because we have lots planned today. We need to go to Borders and look at some books, she has her 12-month pediatrician appointment (hopefully, they'll tell us she's big enough to use her forward-facing car seat!), and hopefully we'll get to Costco and Toys'R'Us to compare the rocking horses and double wagons...one of which will become her birthday present, and the other might be for Christmas. If we have time, we'll head to Babies'R'Us for some desperately-needed magnetic cabinet latches. She's figured out how to remove the ones that never properly wrapped around the nobs.
After her nap, I'll change her out of her cozy pajamas and into the adorable outfit I bought her yesterday for her birthday. It's from a new store at the mall I discovered while Ryan was getting his haircut called "Crazy 8". The clothes are adorable and not super-expensive. Her long-sleeved knit dress was $12 and her matching tights were $2.50 - those are both sale prices, of course. Similar items at Gymboree or Baby Gap would have cost at least twice as much. And as a mushy, "Awwww, it's her only first birthday!" Mama, I might have been suckered into spending twice as much.
Thank goodness Ryan needed a haircut and I needed to kill some time.
So here are the words Lily knows when you say them and ask her to point to them: light (this was first and only applies to HANGING lights, like pendants and ceiling fans - she identifies "light" with the fixture, not the actual light itself), kitty (she knows they say, "Meow!" but has never attempted to say it herself), balloon (there are still a couple hanging on from before her party Friday night), juice (her sippy cup), duck or duckie (she attempts to say, "Quack!" although it sounds more like, "Gak!" - I think this might technically be her first word), Cheerios (this applies to either the container or the actual Cheerios themselves), clock (so far, she only knows the one in her bathroom).
I'm pretty sure she knows who Daddy is, but we still have to get her to point at Ryan when asked where's Daddy. "Mama" was one of her first sounds, but I still don't think she associates it with me. She says it a lot while she's eating, which is guess is OK, because she certainly ENJOYS eating and probably gets Mama from Mmmmmm, which she says a lot at mealtime.
Words we're currently teaching her to understand: bottle, Oma, pacifier, and Coke. Ryan is teaching her this one. It applies to all 2-liter plastic beverage containers. I thought he should teach her something a little more generic, like soda, since it could be Sprite or Dr. Pepper or rootbeer or whatever in the bottle, but he was insistent it should be Coke - and he doesn't have the opportunity to teach her as many words as I do - so I'm going with it. Coke it is.
She knows she's supposed to clap when we cheer, "Yaaay!" or clap ourselves. Though the other night, Ryan pointed out that she seems to think you take turns clapping, because she always starts after we stop, which is pretty funny. She also knows to wave when we say, "Hi" or "Bye" or when we're waving. Sometimes, she gets too excited and starts clapping instead. She learned both these things at the same time and probably thinks they're interchangeable. Silly girl. If you rest your ear to your shoulder, she'll do the same thing with a big grin - it's the sweetest little thing you've ever seen. And if you stick your tongue out at her, she'll stick hers out right back at you. I've found this is a handy trick for getting her to show you what she's snuck in her mouth behind your back.
She's always been very touchy about getting her face cleaned after a meal, but lately I've discovered that if I tell her what a good girl she is while wiping her down, she sits still a little better and fusses a little less. Hooray for positive reinforcement. She definately knows what "No" means. Or using that same tone of voice when we say her name. She'll stop what she was doing - or about to do - and look back at me. I'll raise my eyebrows and maybe shake my head, and that's usually enough. Sometimes, we have to do this a few times, but she listens pretty quickly. By now, she knows what is and what isn't off-limits in the house.
It's funny to watch her test me. She'll go towards something she knows she shouldn't touch, put her hand out towards it, then stop and look back at me with her eyebrows raised, as if asking, "How about now? Is it OK if I touch it this time?" I shake my head or raise my eyebrows back, and she knows and stops. It's amazing. Every day, I realize the importance of consistency with her and how well she responds to it.
Little does she know I'm figuring this all out as I go along...
Monday, December 17, 2007
Lily's 1st Birthday Party
Dear Lily,
This weekend, we celebrated your first birthday.
The party went by in a blur. Similar to our wedding day, I wish I could rewind the weekend and take more time to just sit down with you and enjoy it. To explain to you why all these people are here just for you. To hold you on my lap and give you a big squeeze, whether or not you'll sit still long enough to take it. I'm your Mama and it's my right to try.
The timing of your naps worked out perfectly. You fell asleep at 10:30 a.m. for a party that started at 11:30. By noon, your Oma and I snuck upstairs to wake you up — it was your party, after all, and we didn't want you to miss it! We put on your pink corduroy dress from your Grandma over a long-sleeved white onesie, and paired it with your pink tights and white socks and pink/brown Marie Janes. You looked like the sweetest little girl ever.
You were such a happy girl at your party. You smiled and played and charmed the socks off all the guests. You showed them your new tricks: clapping and waving and sticking your tongue in & out after I did it first. Every once in a while, you would stand up and do the twist, eyes and mouth and hands wide open in excitement.
Your favorite "toy" at the party was all the helium balloons. You get so excited whenever you see them when we're out, I figured for just one day we could take a risk and get you your own balloons to play with. All the fun you had pointing at them then shaking and chasing them around!
You cried twice during your party, both times because you got hurt. The first time, another little boy pushed you over and you banged your head on the carpet. You cried for a little while in my arms until we gave you a balloon — then all was forgotten. The second time, someone was trying to readjust your party hat that said "I'm 1!" and they accidentally snapped the elastic against your face. You had a big red line across your cheek and chin the rest of the party, and burst into tears every time we tried to put that hat back on you. You sure have a good memory.
You weren't too interested in opening your presents. I tried to get you to help me rip the paper off, but you're a gentle girl and would rather play with the shiny strings or go off and play with your toys. We couldn't get you to stay with the presents for too long before you'd wander off again, so your Daddy and I ended up opening most of them for you instead. Little David and Laura sat right next to me the whole time as we opened presents, and your cousin Kirsten was also interested to see what was being unwrapped. Boy, did you get lots of good loot!
You ate your first cupcake ever at the party. You, our little healthy, organic baby, had never had anything like that before. Your Aunt Lori and your Grandma made them at our house the night before (with some help from your Mama and your Aunt Heidi). You were still pretty shaken up about the elastic incident, but one taste of frosting and your eyes widened and you said, "Mmmm!" and that was the end of the crying! We put you in your highchair and you had fun squeezing the cupcake through your fingers, eating off the icing, and stuffing the cake into your mouth. You were a complete mess by the time you were done, which says you thoroughly enjoyed yourself.
I still can't believe what a big girl you are, how happy you are, and how easily you smile. You love to be smiled at (and smile back), to point at things and be told their names, to talk to your toys, to be teased, to be chased, to have attention in general. You are sensitive and thoughtful and silly and playful all at once. You are so pleasant to be around and so curious about everything going on around you. We have to place you in the corner with your back to the wall when we go out to eat so you're not twisting around in your seat looking at everything going on behind you the whole time. You never miss a thing!
This curiosity is what complicates nap time. We can't make ANY noise, or you spring to your feet and cry, reminded that you're in your crib in your room, and we're outside having so much fun without you. Your Daddy and I have gotten quite good at staying very quiet while you're sleeping, but when guests are over, all bets are off. Sometimes they wake you up at the slightest noise; other times, you can sleep through a party going on — like your own party! — we just never know what kind of nap it will be.
Lately, I've been ovewhelmed with how much I love you. I just look at your sweet face and your sweet little smile, and my heart does flip flops. I never knew being a mom would feel like this. It makes me excited and yet scared out of my wits all at the same time. What if something happens to you? What if God's timetable for us to be your caretakers is over before we're ready? I don't know what either of us would do if that happened. You've filled a spot in our lives in a way I never thought possible — can you see why we were so eager to have another little one?
I guess all we can do is be completely thankful for every minute we spend together — even those bleary ones at 2 a.m. — and for the wonderful year we've spent getting to know you and watching you become less little baby and more silly little person. I can't believe how quickly a year went by! I look forward to watching you grow up and grow into a woman of God. Thanks for such a wonderful first year, my little munchkin. You couldn't possibly have two parents who love you more.
Much love, Mama
This weekend, we celebrated your first birthday.
The party went by in a blur. Similar to our wedding day, I wish I could rewind the weekend and take more time to just sit down with you and enjoy it. To explain to you why all these people are here just for you. To hold you on my lap and give you a big squeeze, whether or not you'll sit still long enough to take it. I'm your Mama and it's my right to try.
The timing of your naps worked out perfectly. You fell asleep at 10:30 a.m. for a party that started at 11:30. By noon, your Oma and I snuck upstairs to wake you up — it was your party, after all, and we didn't want you to miss it! We put on your pink corduroy dress from your Grandma over a long-sleeved white onesie, and paired it with your pink tights and white socks and pink/brown Marie Janes. You looked like the sweetest little girl ever.
You were such a happy girl at your party. You smiled and played and charmed the socks off all the guests. You showed them your new tricks: clapping and waving and sticking your tongue in & out after I did it first. Every once in a while, you would stand up and do the twist, eyes and mouth and hands wide open in excitement.
Your favorite "toy" at the party was all the helium balloons. You get so excited whenever you see them when we're out, I figured for just one day we could take a risk and get you your own balloons to play with. All the fun you had pointing at them then shaking and chasing them around!
You cried twice during your party, both times because you got hurt. The first time, another little boy pushed you over and you banged your head on the carpet. You cried for a little while in my arms until we gave you a balloon — then all was forgotten. The second time, someone was trying to readjust your party hat that said "I'm 1!" and they accidentally snapped the elastic against your face. You had a big red line across your cheek and chin the rest of the party, and burst into tears every time we tried to put that hat back on you. You sure have a good memory.
You weren't too interested in opening your presents. I tried to get you to help me rip the paper off, but you're a gentle girl and would rather play with the shiny strings or go off and play with your toys. We couldn't get you to stay with the presents for too long before you'd wander off again, so your Daddy and I ended up opening most of them for you instead. Little David and Laura sat right next to me the whole time as we opened presents, and your cousin Kirsten was also interested to see what was being unwrapped. Boy, did you get lots of good loot!
You ate your first cupcake ever at the party. You, our little healthy, organic baby, had never had anything like that before. Your Aunt Lori and your Grandma made them at our house the night before (with some help from your Mama and your Aunt Heidi). You were still pretty shaken up about the elastic incident, but one taste of frosting and your eyes widened and you said, "Mmmm!" and that was the end of the crying! We put you in your highchair and you had fun squeezing the cupcake through your fingers, eating off the icing, and stuffing the cake into your mouth. You were a complete mess by the time you were done, which says you thoroughly enjoyed yourself.
I still can't believe what a big girl you are, how happy you are, and how easily you smile. You love to be smiled at (and smile back), to point at things and be told their names, to talk to your toys, to be teased, to be chased, to have attention in general. You are sensitive and thoughtful and silly and playful all at once. You are so pleasant to be around and so curious about everything going on around you. We have to place you in the corner with your back to the wall when we go out to eat so you're not twisting around in your seat looking at everything going on behind you the whole time. You never miss a thing!
This curiosity is what complicates nap time. We can't make ANY noise, or you spring to your feet and cry, reminded that you're in your crib in your room, and we're outside having so much fun without you. Your Daddy and I have gotten quite good at staying very quiet while you're sleeping, but when guests are over, all bets are off. Sometimes they wake you up at the slightest noise; other times, you can sleep through a party going on — like your own party! — we just never know what kind of nap it will be.
Lately, I've been ovewhelmed with how much I love you. I just look at your sweet face and your sweet little smile, and my heart does flip flops. I never knew being a mom would feel like this. It makes me excited and yet scared out of my wits all at the same time. What if something happens to you? What if God's timetable for us to be your caretakers is over before we're ready? I don't know what either of us would do if that happened. You've filled a spot in our lives in a way I never thought possible — can you see why we were so eager to have another little one?
I guess all we can do is be completely thankful for every minute we spend together — even those bleary ones at 2 a.m. — and for the wonderful year we've spent getting to know you and watching you become less little baby and more silly little person. I can't believe how quickly a year went by! I look forward to watching you grow up and grow into a woman of God. Thanks for such a wonderful first year, my little munchkin. You couldn't possibly have two parents who love you more.
Much love, Mama
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