How I'm Feeling: Week 33

Or..."When Things Fall Into Place"

Had my latest OB appt this morning, and it turns out I'm 33.5 weeks, not 32.5 weeks like I thought. Seems the haze and activity of the last two weeks clouded my brain and made me lose count in there. Oops.

Man, that means I'm going to be 34 weeks Friday. That's just nuts. SO much closer to 40 than 32...I'm going to have to start wrapping my brain around this whole baby situation. Yes, I know I'm a little slow. I've definitely been used to the "baby in my belly" concept for quite some time now, but my brain has not quite gotten to the "baby is going to come out...and live here. And poop here. And keep Mama up at night again. And take up lots of space with lots of STUFF" concept yet.

The good news is the baby finally got into position - her head is down where it should be and I'm no longer breech. Phew, at least that's taken care of. (Now stay there, baby!) Tina had some trouble feeling the head this time, so we did a quick topical ultrasound and BOOM! There's the baby! All of a sudden, her image jumped on screen - her little hands cuddling in front of her face, legs kicking away, head down in my pelvis where we hoped it would be. Just like I said after our level II ultrasound at 20 weeks (our last view), seeing the image of your baby up on screen never, ever gets old.



Other stats? I've gained 25 lbs thus far. (24 lbs as of four weeks ago, 26 lbs two weeks ago, and 25 lbs today.) This may sound super for someone who's nearing the end of her pregnancy, but I know I have a history of gaining a lot very quickly at the end, so the longer I can stay lower, the better. I gained 40 lbs with Lily and 33 lbs with Jacob. (I was so happy to have only gained 30 lbs by his due date, but then packed on another 3 lbs in the 8 extra days waiting for him to come out - little stinker.)

So yeah, I was hoping to keep it under or around 30 again this time. We'll see how close I get.

We also talked about this head/chest cold that I've had FOREVER. She said since a pregnant woman's sinuses are so full to begin with (something I've known but never really felt with any of my pregnancies), when you add a head cold or viral sinus infection on top of that, everything is so built up in there that it can turn bacterial and I may actually need antibiotics to get rid of it. Yuck. So in typical Leah fashion, I'm going to do nothing but wait it out a little longer and see what happens. If it's not resolved or at least much better before my next appointment two weeks from now, I may start taking something just so when she asks me about it, I can at least say I've started doing SOMEthing. Hopefully, it won't come to that.

Will scan today's ultrasound pic and post it when I get the chance. For now, that's all the new baby news!

Note: Haha! Didn't scan and put the ultrasound picture in until February 10, 2011 - almost a whole year later! Guess with three kids in the house, "when I get the chance" is closer to NEVER.

Just Another Ordinary Trip to the Mall

Thanks for these great pics, Jaicy!

Shop Update

This past week, I've gotten three custom orders for the shop - so happy!!

I've also added some new stuff, including some funky crocheted granny square slippers, a cute little girl scarf (or big girl scarf...your pick), a sherbet-inspired little girl hat, another nursing cover, and - thanks to my friend Jaicy's idea - a "feminine products pouch." Haha I love that idea!

So anyway, thanks for all the orders - and keep 'em coming!

Ambulance and ER Photos

In the ambulance...still spacey:



Saying, "Cheesecake!" for the camera while watching Micky and Minnie cartoons in her ER bed:



Little girl, big bed:



It was encouraging that she wanted to steal the breakfast our nurse Laura brought me:







Trying to recreate one of Jacob's ER photos:





After returning home from the ER:



Encouraging to see:

A Seizure Update

I have been on 24-hour seizure patrol since Wednesday morning. Lily is still running a fever and has other flu-like symptoms, but at her follow-up visit yesterday, her pediatrician said he really thinks it's just a virus that needs time to pass, and if her fever still has not broken by Saturday, they want to see her again. (It started Monday night - such a long time for such a little girl to be SO HOT unless constantly medicated...and you know we're not fans of constantly medicating. But I guess the alternative is fear of another seizure should her fever spike or stay too high, so we'll take the lesser of two evils.)

I have not really slept much. The night of her seizure, I slept in her room. And SLEPT is entirely inaccurate since I mostly just laid there examining every little sound and movement and change in breathing she made. Yesterday morning around 8 a.m., I was really paranoid it was going to happen again. I made sure the pattern of the morning was completely different than the day before, and it wasn't until my neighbor arrived to watch Jacob while I took Lily to the pediatrician that I felt myself calm down again (though I made her talk to me the whole car ride there since I couldn't see her). Every time I left the room for a few minutes or fixed lunch or went to the bathroom (31 weeks pregnant, remember), I would call, "Hey, Lil' - how you doin'?" and any kind of sound from her would count as a positive response.

It wasn't until yesterday evening when Ryan got home that I started to relax a bit - to realize that it had been a few minutes since I had looked at her and she was still fine - and last night, I slept in our room with her monitor turned on super loud. (SO wishing we had that video monitor on our baby registry right about now!) I would have actually had a decent night's sleep if she hadn't woken up so many times. So now my eyes are burning and my brain is tired and I'm physically and emotionally spent. I can't wait until her fever breaks so I can really turn off my brain and take a super long nap. And maybe do some grocery shopping. It would be really nice to have some milk and bread and ice cream...you know, the essentials.

(I totally ate everything in site after we got home from the ER...turns out I'm a comfort food eater.)

Right now, she's sitting on the couch with Jacob watching Blues Clues, and the baby in my belly is doing somersaults. I need to take Lily's temperature and give her some medicine. She's generally lethargic and mopey until the medicine kicks in. Then maybe I'll see if I can sneak in a nap while they stare at the TV for a little longer.

A Seizure

Today, Lily had a seizure. Here's the e-mail I sent to family earlier this afternoon:

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just want to let you know what happened this morning. let me start off by saying that everyone is absolutely fine right now. keep remembering that as you read...

lily's had a fever (mostly 102 range) the last day and a half. this morning, she still had the fever when she woke up. i gave her some medicine and brought her downstairs. she was standing in the living room, one hand on the couch, drinking milk with the other, when she seemed to trip or spasm a little, cried out, and suddenly dropped her cup and fell down on the carpet. i didn't think much of it since she's been pretty clumsy with the fever the last few days. i came over to help her get up, and that's when she started shaking on the floor. her eyes rolled to the side and all four limbs jerked slightly and the seizure lasted no more than a minute, though at the time i thought it was never, ever going to end. i had her turned on her side to make sure she didn't swallow her tongue or in case she threw up. by the end, she had frothed a little at the mouth.

as soon as it stopped, she started crying with her eyes closed. classic lily cry. she looked like she wanted to open her eyes, but didn't have the energy. i kept telling her to look at me, and she flicked her eyes open once or twice, but it was just too much effort. she laid there with her eyes closed, clutching her blanket and twining her fingers through it...which to me was the best sight in the world - that was so LILY of her.

the second it was over, i called 911 - or maybe even before it was over, i don't know. the police arrived after just a couple minutes, and she was lying there on the floor in a sleep-like state when they came in. they spoke loudly when they arrived and lily's eyes flickered open to see what in the world was making that noise. i asked if they could not talk SO loudly, but they said they had to, to see how she responded, and then i felt bad, "oh, ok, of course! i'm sorry." she definitely realized they were there and then made sure MAMA was there, then closed her eyes again. she was definitely responsive, just acting super SLEEPY. they said that was totally normal after a seizure - that the body is recovering.

i asked one of the policemen if he could go next door and get my neighbor to watch jacob. he came back and asked if he could bring jacob over there b/c he had woken her up and she had to get dressed and everything. of course, whatever you want!! so jacob (who hugged each of the policemen's legs when they first arrived - our welcoming committee!) happily went off to barbara's house like it was this big adventure, chattering and saying, "bar-bra! bar-bra!" as he went.

lily laid there on her side, eyes closed, in a still, sleep-like state, breathing heavily and loudly, until the ambulance came. somewhere in there, i went upstairs to change out of my pajama pants and called ryan, who left work immediately to meet me at the ER. the EMT suggested i wrap her up in a blanket and carry her out to the ambulance, to which one of the police officers interjected, "CAN you carry her?" looking at my belly. i said that i definitely wanted to carry her, i just needed someone to pick her up off the floor and hand her to me. so they wrapped her up in one of our blankets - amidst her protesting, which was another good sign - and handed her to me. it was surreal, walking out of the house to the ambulance amidst snow flurries, with my baby girl wrapped up in my arms, resting atop my big belly.

i tried to make the ambulance ride sound exciting for her, but she was just freaking out that i was going to leave her. i assured her i was coming, too, that i wasn't going anywhere, and held her hand as they strapped her onto the bed with their special toddler harness. she was quiet but fearful and held on tight to my hand, with many a, "mama!" just to make sure. the ride there, i tried to get her to look at everything out the back window. i could tell she was interested, though still very still - only her eyes moving as i pointed things out. the ambulance driver noticed a big change in her responsiveness just from when we left the house to when he took her out into the ER, which was encouraging.

when we got to the hospital, she was again very afraid i would leave her. i held her hand all the way to her room in the ER. the nurses were very nice, especially lily's nurse laura. lily was a little freaked out by the finger cuff pulse thing (it had a light on the end of it, and the nurses told her it was a "princess light"), and especially by the blood pressure cuff on her arm ("a little hug!"). she didn't care when i took her temp rectally since we had already been doing it at home for a couple days. her fever wasn't too bad and everything else checked out normal.

soon, the doctor came in and explained different types of seizures to me...he said that this fever-related seizure she had (febrile) could happen to anyone and doesn't mean anything long-term. sometimes, it's the body's way of handling the fever. (ryan arrived some time in here.) they took a urine sample from lily (she peed into a pink bedpan i put on the potty for her - there was much lollipop bribery involved), and gave her some motrin and said just keep keeping her medicated until the fever passes. she has a follow-up appt with the pediatrician tomorrow morning.

i still can't believe this happened to our kid. it's the kind of thing you hear about happening to OTHER people's kids. i kept thinking about how this happened once to my brother when he was little and how it never happened again...that gave me some comfort. (i was only two, but i still remember standing outside waiting for the police to arrive.) it's amazing how many horrible thoughts can go through your head in that one brief minute while it's happening...things i don't even want to put into words here...

so anyway, she's home now and she's fine. i knew everything was really going to be ok when she started stealing jacob's toys and running away with them. ahhh she's back........

thanks for reading this long e-mail. i just wanted to let everyone know so you could pray for lily - and for her mama on vigilant seizure watch. not letting that girl outta my sight.
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She is still running a fever and has typical flu symptoms (tells us she's cold, has a cough, is going #3, is generally clingy/lethargic). Aunt Ilse, thank you THANK YOU for coming up today to spend the day with us after you found out what happened, even after I insisted that you didn't have to, because you could hear in my voice that I just did not want to be alone on seizure patrol. You're an excellent "2nd in Command" while my mom is away in Florida. (Hi, mom - please stop worrying!)

I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically. I'll be sleeping in Lily's room for a while...no other choice since I can't let her out of my sight. I'm sure I'll sleep with one eye open, and continue to monitor her every move for some time - at the very least, until her fever breaks. I'm still so scared. So unsure. The site of her on the floor...like that...I can't get it out of my head. I keep telling Ryan how blessed he is that he didn't have to see it, because I will never forget...

The Pillowcase Dress

Here's my first attempt at a pillowcase dress:







(Yes, with matching head band - I had extra fabric!)



I had read about pillowcase dresses a while ago and was finally in the mood to try one. I followed the general idea from this page.

Technically, this is my SECOND attempt. The first one came out fine, but GIGANTIC on little Lily - guess that's what happens if you wing it and don't actually hold anything up to your child - so I immediately started on a new one for her that came out quite nice.

Maybe she can wear this one now, and by the time she fits the HUGE version, our second little girl will fit this one ;)

Hmm, maybe I'll make a few of these cute little dresses for my shop the next time I get a spare moment to myself...